This Season

This fall has been challenging for multiple reasons.  The most obvious - first trimester symptoms!  Ahhh... please tell me I'm almost done!  This pregnancy has been different and worse than my first. For the most part, I was sick only in the mornings with Elli, but this time it's been morning, noon, evening, and even in the middle of the night.  You know how women say that you forget how bad labor and delivery are, even to the point of wanting another child?  Well, I'm hoping the same is true for this trimester, because I have honestly wondered if I want to go through this again.  Adoption seems like a really good option right now.  

Changing jobs in September has also brought some stress to the past few months as well.  My responsibilities with the youth are fairly similar, in fact, they have even lightened since we don't have a Sunday School hour yet.  However, because I'm technically the only paid employee of our baby church, I'm helping out in other ministries as well, especially the children's ministry.  The children's church program really needed to get started, and in the absence of a leader, I've stepped in temporarily to lead it.  I love kids, I do.  But I am not cut out to be an elementary teacher.  I do not have that gift of keeping the attention of a group of four to eleven year olds.  I have new respect and appreciation for teachers.  I am feeling very stretched by this new role!

The final, and perhaps most challenging change this season has brought is the early signs of Elli turning two.  There have been tantrums, the has been some sass, there has been some outright defiance.  :)  Up until this point, Elli has been a relatively easy baby.  Of course there have been hard seasons, but nothing like this.  And I know it's only the beginning!

So, as I've been processing all of these changes, the Lord has been convicting me of where I go for guidance: my own wisdom, my parents, books, peer advice, Google... you name it.  I look for answers everywhere except where I'm sure to find them - in the Lord!  Not that it's wrong to call my mom when Elli is throwing a massive fit, or to read a book about potty training, or even to Google ideas for engaging second graders.  But my first source... my first response should always always always be to bring it before the Lord!

I love the Charles Spurgeon paraphrase the ladies at GirlTalk blog shared a few weeks ago:  "Prayer is the unfailing resource of the anxious mother.. Prayer will succeed where all else fails."  Great reminder and something I am trying to put into practice on a daily basis.