These Days...

... this girl is walking everywhere with both arms adorably extended upward and a big smile on her proud face. I still get surprised when she walks around the corner. Where did my baby go? She gives kisses upon request, which is often. When I ask her if she wants to go brush her teeth, she drops whatever she's doing and toddles to the bathroom as fast as she can go, saying "Ahhhh" the whole way. Sister loves her dental hygiene. She is now fully weaned and made that process easy on me. She snuggles into my shoulder every night while I sing to her before bed. If I think it's getting too quiet and go looking for her, I almost always find her reading a book. She gets super excited when she sees a dog or a picture of one, and Ginger tolerates lots of snuggles and pat-pats. She loves to skype, pointing to the computer and signing more.

...this girl continues to amaze me with her curiosity and heart. She will stop in the middle of a Target trip to say, "Hey, Mommy. You know I love you?"  When we pray to Jesus, she wants to make sure we're talking to the real Jesus - "the one with long hair."  She prays for him to help her with the "shin" in her heart. She knows he lives in there... and in her tummy, apparently. When some of our family recently went through a difficult time, she prayed daily that God would "make them not sad and make them happy." She quickly understood the concept that Cara is more important than her toys (thank you, Rachel Jankovic), and has really made an effort to share her toys. When I was sick on the Fourth of July, she was so sweet to me - patting my back, asking me if I felt better, helping me out around the house as much as she could. In dance/gymnastics class she is doing so well at listening to her teacher, following instructions, and trying new (hard) things. She still looks for me through the glass to make sure I'm watching.

... our family is designing (and hopefully soon building) a chicken coop. If you had asked me six months ago if I would consider raising chickens, I would have laughed.  But I'm really excited about the learning opportunity for the girls (and Daniel and I!) and of course for the fresh eggs! Although our GF experiment is on hold until Daniel sees the doctor, we are trying to limit it to some degree, and consequently have tried a few new yummy recipes. We are getting excited for our upcoming trip to see family in a few weeks. For a month or so now, the girls have been going to bed at the same time, and while most nights are quiet and uneventful, Daniel and I smile at each other when there's a few rounds of giggles while they settle down. Above all, we are thankful. Although there are certainly challenges and disappointments in our lives, we are doing our best to live with grateful, content hearts. Thankful for all of the above and so much more. God is faithful and so so good.

Fresh Air

 While March entered like a lamb this year, as it usually does this far south, my sweet husband declared war on the dandelions in our yard. This is serious business around here. Leaving dandelion spores to scatter across the yard has been compared to infidelity.  :)

Fortunately, Daniel has a faithful little helper as he cares for our yard.

And a captive audience.

So, we are tackling our yard as a family, dreaming of all the things it can be, all the memories to be made here.  Our little seedlings promise fresh vegetables on our table.  Buds on a questionable tree show potential for new growth.  New independence and companionship foretell of little playmates filling our yard with laughter.

I'm so hopeful for our future here, so thankful for what the Lord is bringing about.  Excited for new growth.  I love that Elli is learning to create beauty around her, and about stewardship and diligence as she follows in her daddy's footsteps. Truly she is Daddy's little shadow right now.

Rocking a dress and "princess hair" any chance she gets.

And when she's not helping Daddy on his latest project, she's busy being an awesome big sister.

Sometimes maybe a little too awesome...

We are loving our first Spring in our new home - new reasons to spend time together, new missions to accomplish together, new memories to create together.

In Which I Find My Christmas Cheer

Usually this is my favorite time of year. But for some reason I just wasn't feeling it this year - you know, that bubbly, joyous, Christmas cheer.  Decorating sounded like a chore; sugar cookies weren't make my mouth water; even my beloved Christmas music was falling flat.  Usually I'm fighting the urge to turn it on my early November, but not this year. As we drove home from Thanksgiving, I even considered skipping getting a Christmas tree this year.

But what could I do?  I have two littles and memories to make!  So, we grabbed the camera and drove to the Christmas tree farm tent.  Yeah... tent.  And you know what?  That whiff of pine as we walked in... the pleasure Elli found in seeking out the perfect "tritmut tree"... they began to work their magic.  By the time Daniel and his little elf/shadow got the tree up, I had caught it.  

That twinkling-lights-loving, eggnog-craving, Mariah-Carey-belting feeling.

 So we hung ornaments on the tree the next morning.  Our radio is set to the 24 hour Christmas music station.  And we will be making sugar cookies pretty soon.  And it's awesome.  The magic is reflected in Elli's voice as she oohed and ahhed over every single ornament.  Her sweet transparency when we plugged in the lights the next morning, "Oh Mommy. That tree make me happy."  

In the midst of all this "not feeling" and "feeling" I am reminded of a truth the Lord's been teaching me this year.  Feeling follows doing.

I don't always feel like going for a run.
I don't always feel like showing my husband affection.

I don't always feel like stopping what I'm doing to take advantage of a teachable moment with Elli.

I don't always feel like giving forgiveness when I've been wronged.

I don't always feel like spending time in the Word at the crack of dawn.
I don't always feel like changing another poopy diaper.

Okay... so there are a few things that I will probably never feel like doing, but you get what I'm saying. I find that as I walk in obedience, God is faithful to fill me with His Spirit so that my heart becomes more like His.

God's Best

I don't have any new pictures to share with you.  Our week was full of early mornings at the park before it got too hot, training a two-year-old to not whine, getting and recovering from two month immunizations, organizing projects around home, and finally cleaning and laundry in preparation for my parents visit this weekend!  (Can. not. wait.)  Mostly we have just tried to stay out of this heat!

So I don't have any pictures to share with you, but I do have some thoughts.  I recently (as in a few months ago) discovered a blog that I am in love with.  If you've had a deep conversation with me recently, I've probably mentioned it or something from it.  I love how she blends the Gospel, mothering, and beauty.  She inspires and encourages me, and I don't even know her!

Anyway, one particular post has stuck with me over the last few months.  It's short, so you could hop over there and read it so that you understand what I'm talking about, but boiled down, its really all about trusting God.  Trusting him regardless of circumstances and finding contentment through trusting him. She writes one sentence that has been brewing in my mind and heart -  "He makes no mistakes; He never gives second best."

He never gives second best... I think about this all the time.  I am convicted and challenged by it.  Despite the numerous blessings we have experienced here, I confess that I have not trusted that south Texas is God's Best Plan.  Basically, I've been a whiny toddler about it.  I want to live closer to family.  I hate the heat.  I miss the seasons.  Friendships have been slow-growing here.  They have massive bugs here.  Life would be better in Kansas.  The grass is definitely greener there, literally and figuratively. 

You get the idea.  

So, as I am trying to teach my own whiny toddler, I am praying for a thankful heart.  One that trusts in the Lord no matter what, and sets him above and before all other desires, even the good ones.   

Psalm 16: 5-7

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Peace

Peace and quiet have become precious commodities around here.  Personal space is a thing of the past, and privacy is no longer a right.  I cherish my days with my busy, energetic two-year-old and my sweet, snuggly one-month-old, but I also love the rare moments when both are either sleeping or playing quietly on their own.  They don't usually last very long.

We are all adjusting to our new rhythm as a family of four, and I'm learning to carve out time in the Word whenever I can find it.  (Goodness knows I need it now more than ever!)  I had to capture this page from my journal, because it so perfectly represents my devotional life right now.  What I begin one day inevitably gets interrupted, but instead of postponing my meeting with the Lord, He blesses and extends the time.  I'm learning to slow down and keep His Word in my heart and on my mind throughout the day.

And since I'm in a sharing mood, these are the verses I've been meditating on recently.  Daniel and I are working so hard to set up our physical home, but I don't want to forget about creating an environment that glorifies the Lord and reflects the values He has instilled in us.  These verses have been laid on my heart as I try to help Elli learn self-control, transform the clutter into order, and set an example for our girls in how I communicate with Daniel.  Especially on the days when we're all a little sleep-deprived.  May our home be full of peace so we may soon enjoy a harvest of righteousness.

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26 Thanks

I hope to make this a yearly tradition - to reflect on things that the Lord has done in the past year for me.  Even though the number 26 will only scratch the surface of His many blessings, these are the things that make my heart sing and overflow:    (in no particular order)

1.  G-Baby... I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am for the little person growing inside of me.  God is so good!  Can't wait to meet him/her! 

2.  Elinor, my little light.  She brightens every day with her humor, passion, and spunk.  God has taught me so much about trust and joy through her this year.

3.  My wonderful hubby and the growth in our marriage over the past year.  I'm so thankful for how the Lord has shaped and changed us this year, and for the depth of love and service Daniel shows me constantly.  I love that we are learning to appreciate and utilize each others strengths, and understand and work through each others weaknesses.  

4.  My awesome family... I could use up a number for each one of them, but I really am so thankful for my parents and siblings, and my nephew and niece. I am so blessed and encouraged by each one!

5.  Our church family.  This year we finally feel like we're beginning to build that community here in Texas, and our church is a huge part of that.

6.  My amazing job, which allows me to be first and foremost a wife and mommy, while giving me a purpose and passion here beyond our home.

7.  A new "kindred spirit" kind of friend here.  Since the very first days and weeks of our friendship, I have felt completely at ease with and a deep love for this sweet woman!

8.  A healthy pregnancy.  I know I complain about the morning sickness, lack of sleep, and round ligament pain, etc, but really, I am so grateful to have been able to not have any major concerns these past 37 weeks.  Many people (pregnant and not) had a very bad flu season this year, so I'm thankful that our family has been blessed with a healthy winter!

9.  My BSF Bible study has been such a blessing to my walk over the past nine nine months.  At first I was a little apprehensive about going through Isaiah, but I have learned so much about the Lord and myself through this study.  Perhaps even more for than for myself, I'm thankful for the children's program.  Elli loves to go every week, and I know she's learning the Scriptures already!  I love hearing Elli sing, "Trust and Obey,"  "Holy, Holy, Holy," and "Joy to the World" around the house! 

10.  We've had the opportunity to travel quite a bit this past year, both back to Kansas to see our families, and around the world - to Mexico and China.

11.  My friends' new, precious babies!  Meeting Des and Vera this year has been so special!  I love seeing my friends as mothers, and love their children almost as much as my own!

12.  I'm so thankful for the area of town we now live in and that I've discovered several new parks and trails close by.

13.  The Lord has been so good in providing financially to us this year.  I am grateful for Daniel's job security, the opportunity to assist him in reaching our goals while not sacrificing our values, and for some unexpected provisions He has given us.

14.  Along those same lines, I'm thankful for the lessons that we have learned about working as a team to manage our money.  Just one example of how we're growing as a married couple.

15.  Elli's Mother's Day Out and her teacher, Ms. Annette, who is just amazing!  Elli gets so excited to go to "school" on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and is so happy when I pick her up.  She has learned and grown so much, developmentally and socially.  Of course, if you ask her what she does at school, she usually responds, "Eat!"

16.  Running with Daniel.  We have tried a few times to run together in the past, but this year (at least up until I had such bad morning sickness) we were actually able to make it work!  We even ran a 10k together last summer!

17.  I'm so thankful for my family's trip to Beaver Lake last summer, not only for the sweet family memories we made, but simply for the beauty of the Ozarks.  There are many things I love about Texas, but I miss the climate, landscape, and vegetation of the midwest. Elli and I had some sweet moments out on the deck in the early mornings as well that I will treasure.

18.  The Pioneer Woman.  This is a strange one, I know, but I feel like her recipes helped me get out of a rut in the kitchen, and I'm finally really enjoying cooking again!

19.  Sonic happy hour, where a Route 44 ice water is 25 cents.  This pregnant lady loves her Sonic ice.

20.  I am thankful for the time and opportunity I have had to work on my sewing skills.  I still frequently have to rip out seams or occasionally throw out a project, but this year I have learned a few new skills that allow me to make more complex projects.

21.  Skype.  I'm thankful for this every year, but I don't know how we'd survive without it!  I am constantly blessed by how well Elli knows her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousin because she gets to see them!

22.  Our life group, even though we only began meeting a month ago, has been a place of authentic love and community.  These men and women have blessed me greatly!

23.  I am thankful for the zoo, and for the membership Elli's Papa and Nona got us!  Elli is enthralled with animals of any kind, so we have spent many days there over the past year, and it never gets old.

24.  The opportunity to go to Winter Conference in February, which was such a spiritually renewing time with the Lord. 

25.  Today also marks one year since my grandmother passed away, and I am so thankful for her memory.  What a blessing to know that there is no more sorrow or suffering for her now.  My grief is still near, but as I have missed her this year and reflected on the woman she was, I am so grateful for her example which has made such an impression into my life.  She left so many blessings, both tangible and intangible, that will affect who I am and what I value for the rest of my life.

26.  Number 26 is reserved for a secret thanksgiving, which will soon be revealed.  Sorry to be a tease, but it definitely merits a spot on this list!

This Season

This fall has been challenging for multiple reasons.  The most obvious - first trimester symptoms!  Ahhh... please tell me I'm almost done!  This pregnancy has been different and worse than my first. For the most part, I was sick only in the mornings with Elli, but this time it's been morning, noon, evening, and even in the middle of the night.  You know how women say that you forget how bad labor and delivery are, even to the point of wanting another child?  Well, I'm hoping the same is true for this trimester, because I have honestly wondered if I want to go through this again.  Adoption seems like a really good option right now.  

Changing jobs in September has also brought some stress to the past few months as well.  My responsibilities with the youth are fairly similar, in fact, they have even lightened since we don't have a Sunday School hour yet.  However, because I'm technically the only paid employee of our baby church, I'm helping out in other ministries as well, especially the children's ministry.  The children's church program really needed to get started, and in the absence of a leader, I've stepped in temporarily to lead it.  I love kids, I do.  But I am not cut out to be an elementary teacher.  I do not have that gift of keeping the attention of a group of four to eleven year olds.  I have new respect and appreciation for teachers.  I am feeling very stretched by this new role!

The final, and perhaps most challenging change this season has brought is the early signs of Elli turning two.  There have been tantrums, the has been some sass, there has been some outright defiance.  :)  Up until this point, Elli has been a relatively easy baby.  Of course there have been hard seasons, but nothing like this.  And I know it's only the beginning!

So, as I've been processing all of these changes, the Lord has been convicting me of where I go for guidance: my own wisdom, my parents, books, peer advice, Google... you name it.  I look for answers everywhere except where I'm sure to find them - in the Lord!  Not that it's wrong to call my mom when Elli is throwing a massive fit, or to read a book about potty training, or even to Google ideas for engaging second graders.  But my first source... my first response should always always always be to bring it before the Lord!

I love the Charles Spurgeon paraphrase the ladies at GirlTalk blog shared a few weeks ago:  "Prayer is the unfailing resource of the anxious mother.. Prayer will succeed where all else fails."  Great reminder and something I am trying to put into practice on a daily basis.

Standing on the Promises of God

Some of you who are familiar with Bible Study Fellowship know that at the weekly meetings, we sing a few hymns to open.  The majority of them are brand new to me, so I spend a lot of time just reading the words and trying to pick up on the melody.  One of my favorites - of which I couldn't tell you the name - ends each verse with the refrain, "I'm standing, standing, standing on the promises of God."  I love this reminder of the hope and confidence we have in our Sovereign God!

Beginning when I was in fourth grade, my family started attending a church pastored by Jimmy Dodd.  His ministry and teaching had a profound impact on my faith and understanding of Scripture.  I have the fondest memories of babysitting his kids; the easy mentorship and encouragement of his wife, Sally;  his explanation of speaking in tongues after a particularly traumatic sixth grade experience.  Even though the Lord called him to a different ministry when I was still fairly young, I still remember some of his teachings and reference them even today.  The Lord used his ministry greatly in my life.

This morning, I came across a sermon he preached this past Sunday at a church some of my friends attend, and I wanted to share it with you.  My heart is so encouraged by the truth of God's Word and the confidence we can have in His promises.  I hope you are too.

Click on this link, and listen to the October 24th sermon on Romans 8:28-30.

New

We have had a wonderful holiday back "home," spending tons of time with family and friends. Daniel and I both feel so refreshed, being surrounded by people who know us and love us!

You know, I wasn't one tiny bit sad to say goodbye to 2009. The year was full of wonderful things, but the second half of it has been more than a little challenging. I don't always share all the hard stuff on here, but the truth is, 2009 was tough. Moving to a new city where we didn't know a soul, transitioning out of school life into an 8-5 M-F schedule, and some pretty difficult personal struggles have all added up to make for a rocky summer and fall for us.

So, welcome 2010! I don't expect all of my troubles to evaporate, and there will surely be plenty of new trials to face, but God has certainly provided us with an exciting beginning to this new year: I have a job! Not just a job.... a great job! The dream job! Starting January 10, I will be the new student ministry assistant! (I keep trying to type out the story behind all this in a concise way, but it's just too cool how God brought it to us. I think it might deserve more than a few sentences... maybe I'll write a separate post about it, or ask and I'll tell you how good He is!)

Anyway, I'm so thankful that God has met so many of my needs through this opportunity. The position clearly allows me to continue making my calling as wife and mommy first priority, so I'll be able to bring in a little extra income without sacrificing what we believe is most important for our family right now. Also, my greatest frustration here has been building relationships. I am often lonely... and honestly, often bored. Now I have the opportunity to invest in both relationships and a program that really matters. I'm excited to dive in and get to know the students, their families, and the staff at the church, as well as really build a youth program that will impact years of students. I never dreamed that I would be able to find a job that would fit so perfectly with our schedule and our family values, without being an enormous strain. God is so good.
What a great start to a new year. Praise God!