Grandma

 Sorry for the long blog absence.  My dear grandma passed away on April 22, and although I have wanted to write a post about all that she meant to me, I just couldn't seem to get it right.  At my grandma's funeral last week, my mom shared the following eulogy, which just perfectly captures who my grandma was.  (Thanks for letting me share it, Mom!)  

This picture of Elli with her great-grandma is one of my favorites.  They had a sweet relationship, and I am in awe of how the Lord used Elli to bring so much joy into Grandma's life this last year.  

Mom's Eulogy

     Our family would like to thank you for being here.  We are so grateful to God for Marcelee’s life.  Mom would have loved having her entire family and her friends here together, and she would have been so proud of her grandchildren today.  I found it a little embarrassing that Mom would  “show me off” to her friends, even at 50+ years old and way past the “cute stage”!  I want to take this time to remember some of the things I loved and admired about Mom. 

     Mom was a country girl.  Growing up in a family of three girls, she always preferred helping her Dad outside to working indoors with her mother.  She loved horses and all things western.  She and her sister Illene would actually go to pulling matches!  She especially appreciated going to Nebraska to see Jacque and Neil ride in their 4-H competitions, and she was so proud of them.  On her walls were several framed photos taken by Shelly of Dale on horseback.  She eagerly anticipated the birth of Hub last winter, and savored the updates of his progress.   Her favorite vacations were the ones that took her to western states.  She knew her cowboy movie stars, names that I had never heard, and she had taped some old cowboy movies that she remembered watching at the matinee in town as a young girl.  Mom loved listening to all kinds of music, including plenty of country-western. 

     Mom was talented.  She knew how to stretch the household dollars, and one of the ways she did it was by sewing.  She could brighten an old house by making pretty curtains, and she kept me and herself well-dressed.  She sewed nearly all my clothes, and by high school, when I discovered Ottawa’s dress shops, she still created my prom and party dresses.  She always loved making beautiful things for me to wear, and tried her very best to please me with up-to-date fashions.  She neatly patched Dale’s jeans until there was more patch than original.  She was especially proud that Megan seems to have inherited her love for fabrics, patterns, and sewing notions.

      And her mumus!!  She made a number of them for herself, her sisters and special friends.  She had all the seasons covered in a variety of lengths and fabrics.   In her last weeks, her mumus were the only things she could wear comfortably.   When dressing, she would ask us to select one that we liked, but it often required a few tries before we were able to pick the correct one! 

     In recent years, she took up quilting, making a quilt for each grandchild and her great-granddaughter.  She started one for me last year, and we finished it together a few weekends ago:  I ran the sewing machine while Mom slept in her chair, and she told me how to put the pieces together and admired my work between naps.

     Mom was smart.  She enjoyed playing Bridge in various groups, both as a couple with my dad and in ladies’ clubs.  She tended to downplay her abilities, but she and Michael skunked John and I just a couple of months ago.  Mom had cards all night long, and got the bid on nearly every hand that night!  I think Michael was her all-time favorite partner.

     She had an obsession with crosswords, and several of us have caught the habit.  She enjoyed doing them together with her grandchildren.  If we were stuck on some obscure clue, we knew where to go. 
Mom enjoyed the newspaper, and she was always well-informed, knew about the issues of the day, and liked to pass along items that she thought would help her children and grandchildren in life:  investment advice, best career options, health tips, etc.

       Mom loved to read.  She devoured paperbacks, saving her favorites and rereading “the good parts.”  She encouraged reading in her grandchildren, buying them books and encouraging them with good suggestions.  She loved to read to them!  Michael loved a particularly obnoxious “He-Man” book that Mom had let him pick out, and she would patiently read it to him over and over again.

     Widowed at age 47, she worked and invested her money herself until the last few months.  She would seek advice and do her research, then make her own decisions about handling her money.

     And Mom was wise.  Dan, Dale, and I sought and valued her advice.  She had good common sense.  She knew people and had life experience to draw from.  What a treasure.

      Mom was friendly.  I would sometimes get impatient at checkouts because she would engage the cashier in conversation.  After she moved in with us, she took a daily walk around the cul-de-sac, getting to know our neighbors better than we had in 20 years!  She even inspired the admiration of the runner down the street for her determination and discipline.  My mother was a loyal and thoughtful friend.  Her long Sunday afternoons with her friend Nancy were cherished appointments, and she and Wanda enjoyed long phone chats after the Trinity Newsletter arrived in their mailboxes.  One of the saddest losses of her last months was the inability to talk on the phone to her many friends.  She loved them dearly.

     And she loved her grandchildren!  She attended every play that Adam and Ryan were in and loved going to Megan’s volleyball matches.  She enjoyed visiting the Nebraska grandkids in August to see Jacque and Neil’s 4-H fair projects, and was so proud of their achievements.  It was especially sweet to see the joy that her great-granddaughter Elli brought her this last year.   There were some functions on Mom’s cell phone that she never quite mastered, but she somehow figured out how to download the pictures of Elli that Megan would regularly send.  Many days when I got home from work, Mom’s first words were, “I got a picture of Elli today!”  We would often go to the computer after supper to read Megan’s blog and enjoy all of Elli’s recent accomplishments and activities, or even better, to Skype them.
  
     Seeing Mom with Elli reminded me what a wonderful grandma she was, and how she was there for John and I with the births of our four children.  She seemed so confident and capable with our first newborn Michael – John and I never wanted her to leave!  She remembered how to fold and pin an old-fashioned cloth diaper; she knew how to teach a newborn the difference between day and night; and she knew how to encourage brand-new nervous parents.  She loved holding a newborn grandchild, and even coached me on the finer points of rocking a baby, but her first priority was covering meals and housework so that I could recover and learn to be a mother.   In December of 1987, when I became ill during the last month of my pregnancy with Adam, Mom came to help take care of Michael and Megan.  Michael wondered why Grandma just HAD to go to the park with him and Megan every single day, no matter the temperature!  Of course, it was to allow me to have a little nap each afternoon.  She bundled the two of them up and made it a fun outing, whether they wanted to go or not! 

     Mom was strong.   I am still in awe at the graceful way that she made the transition at age 76 to move to Kansas City.  She had to leave the friends and the church that she loved so much, and much of the independence that she had enjoyed.  After living a pretty quiet life alone for over 25 years, she adapted to living with our family.  And she loved serving us.  Ryan and Adam were both at home a good portion of this past year, and often found their laundry finished, folded, and stacked in a basket or their morning chores completed before they woke up.  Mom unloaded the dishwasher every day as long as she was able to walk to the kitchen.  Laundry was always a passion of Mom’s, and she loved being able to iron John’s shirts every week.

     One of the gifts of having her with us this past year was to be able to observe the strength of her faith.  I learned that she had a real and personal relationship with her Lord and Savior.  Whenever we talked about her impending death – and she was never afraid to talk about it – she expressed confidence in the promises of Scripture.  She knew in her heart that the same Jesus who had given her strength through widowhood and chemotherapy would take her through this last chapter.  Mom faced sickness and death with courage and grace.  She was so grateful for all the people who cared for her, and always greeted them with a smile.  She thanked me every night for that day’s care.  She repeatedly told me that she was ready to go!  She looked forward to being with Jesus.  The room that Jesus has prepared for her is certainly blue, and she is sewing fresh curtains for it. 

    Mom was my first teacher, and she was still teaching me until last Thursday.  By honoring her own parents, she taught me how to be a daughter.  She gave wise advice on being a wife and loved John and her daughters in law, Shelly and Elaine.  She taught me how to be a mother and a grandmother.  Then she taught me how to face the end of life with courage and with grace.  I am thankful for my mother.  She was a precious gift!